What if nobody ever claps again?
The scariest question I ever asked God was whether I would still follow Him if it never made me look good.
“When you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing.”
Matthew 6:3
I used to think my biggest spiritual problem was doubt. It wasn't. It was applause. Doubt at least made me ask questions. Applause just made me repeat whatever got it last time.
Here is the test I could not pass for years: if the thing I was doing for God had no audience attached — no post, no stage, no one saying they were praying for me — would I still want to do it? Nine times out of ten, the honest answer was no. Not because I did not love God, but because I had wired obedience to feedback.
Jesus's instruction in Matthew 6 is almost rude in how specific it is. Give so quietly that your own hand does not know. Pray in a closet. Fast without looking like it. Every one of those is an instruction to remove the audience on purpose, which tells me He knew exactly what the audience does to us.
The reward system He offers is slow and invisible: your Father, who sees in secret. That is a terrible deal for the part of me that needs to be perceived. It is a wonderful deal for the part of me that is exhausted.
Try one hidden thing this week. One act of obedience that nobody will ever know about. Not because being seen is evil, but because you need to find out whether your faith can breathe without oxygen from the crowd.
If it can't yet, that is not a verdict. It is a starting point. Mine was too.
Randal Lee — The Abide Movement